If Churches which are filled with Women are not drawing the men, what will it take?

Christian Single men are not attending our Singles events and this has led to many very frustrated Christian Women in the church.

The mature Christian single women are becoming more and more frustrated because, in many cases many have been in the church believed God and prayed for marriage and children and still find themselves on their own.Singles make up one of largest groups in many of our churches and singles in the churches are predominantly made up of women. It seems as though churches are failing to deal with the needs of one of our largest groups. Individual women need to seek God for themselves on the issue, but a responsible caring leadership should also accept the ‘burden’ of addressing this issue.

There are some issues that churches should be tackling on a corporate/congregational level and I think this issue is one of them. Most mature single women I have met realise they can live a fulfilled single life but this does not take away the desire for love, marriage and a family. I don’t think there is anything wrong with women being proactive in carving out the life they want and pursuing their goals. This includes marriage but I think more women would achieve their goal of getting married and having a family if the church took this on board as one of their focuses and a corporate prayer theme. Christian women have been preparing themselves and are being proactive in positioning themselves to meet a life partner.....but where are the men?

In ministries comprised of singles aged between 18-35 there appears to be a balance of men to women.

The younger singles are meeting, dating and getting married.In ministries comprised of singles 35+ there appears to be fewer men in comparison to women. The bottom line is, after the age of 35 the presence of Godly men seems to be thin on the ground and there are even fewer men involved in singles ministries.

I have to ask the question....how is it that the general lack of men in our churches and the loss of our young black men to Islam is not being seen as something of a crisis in our churches by the leadership?

Many of us are wondering how bad it will get before the leadership sit up and act? Is this something that the female membership need to address themselves as well, through fasting, prayer and practical action? I have had it said to me that this is why so many women end up leaving the church to get married or to have children and then come back to church. I think churches should be concerned when so many women aren't able to experience marriage that God ordained.

Singles ministry can only do so much. It would seem as though many pastors are happy to have churches with a predominantly female membership, after all they are generally not going anywhere, they take on most of the responsibilities within the church and pay their tithes regularly.The fact is the only way to address this issue is through evangelism and by sharing "the good news of the gospel".

Does the church needs to target men when evangelising as, the evidence is that if you can win a man in a family to Christ then the rest of his family is more likely to follow. The same is not true for women as evidenced by our churches FULL of women.

The men in our churches have a major role to play in this. However, the whole church should still be involved in evangelism as stated i the great commission.

Someone once suggested to me that single women could vote with their feet when the church leadership fail to address this need. I'm not sure that women leaving churches is the answer. Moving church would probably just move the problem from one place to another and not really achieving very much.

We’ve heard all the discussions and suggestions about the church being over feminised, with frilly curtains, flowers, men in robes and touchy feely over emotional praying and hugging etc. putting men off attending church. These things do not seem to put the men off that are already there.

It is important to do whatever we can to ensure that everyone attending the church can connect with God there and that there is nothing to distract them from that.The church needs it’s men to come back because they are the foundation and we all have to take steps prayerfully towards encouraging that to happen.

Jesus gave us a great model in how he grew his own disciples. One by one at first, then in small groups, then in larger groups and so on. Maybe we should start there? Men minister to, and reach men more easily than women would. We should therefore encourage men’s bible studies, retreats and other events that would bring them in the door. It’s important to emphasize discipleship or mentoring programs for men.

What do you think?

Janet Wolfe